An eight week course offering education and embodied practice for feeling your feelings
Jan 4th - March 1st, 2022
If the last couple of years offered us anything, it’s an opportunity to become aware of what happens when we are confronted with all the feelings at once.
How’s that going for you?
If you’re here, my guess is that you’ve found yourself a bit (or a lot) overwhelmed.
Even with your zoom therapist, your favourite self-help book on your bedside table and your journaling practice in tow, you might still be riding an emotional rollercoaster from hell. Or feeling numbed out and dissociated. Or simply exhausted from all the uncertainty, overwhelm and chaos. Sound familiar?
These responses are human, especially in crisis, and even more so if we have a body or mind affected by personal or collective experiences of trauma. However, the kind of suffering we feel in response to our emotions - well, that’s because most of us were never taught how to feel our feelings. More likely, we were taught how to think our way out of them, bypass them, pathologize or problem-solve them, or simply how to numb in response to what is difficult.
Those survival skills and coping mechanisms might have gotten you to a certain point.
Then 2020 got here.
WHAT’S MISSING
Harvard brain scientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor showed that it takes only ninety seconds of non-judgmental witness for a feeling to change. After spending the last six years teaching hundreds of people how to feel their feelings, I can tell you that the research is spot on. And that most people have never experienced this kind of practical magic because they simply don’t have the skills, neural pathways and somatic (embodied) capacity to do so.
This is where How to Feel comes in.
education + practice
This course combines practical teaching, guided audio practices and community support to help you deepen your understanding, build new neural pathways and expand your embodied capacity to move through emotion. We will use the principles behind somatics, Gestalt psychotherapy and anti-oppression to flex new muscles, learn to re-inhabit our bodies and create a felt sense of safety even when rolling through intense emotion.
In This Course You Will Learn:
a more complex and nuanced understanding of your feelings, and their relationship to your thinking, embodiment, nervous system and behavioural patterns.
how to identify what you feel and what is happening underneath the feeling using awareness, physical sensation and deep listening.
how to actually feel your feelings by moving them through your body without getting stuck in thinking, avoidance, or harmful coping.
how to notice and re-direct when you find yourself projecting (aka blaming) your discomfort onto something or someone else.
embodied practices to help regulate your nervous system and feel grounded.
How to feel INCLUDES:
6 live/recorded CLASesS
Six ninety minute classes with corresponding guidebooks. Attend live or watch the replays!
doWLOADABLE AUDIO PRACTICEs
Six short audio embodiment practices to implement new somatic feeling skills.
2 LIVE/recorded Q&A Sessions
Two opportunities to ask questions, live or by e-mail. Audio recordings will be made available.
OPTIONAL community CALLS
A series of optional calls to foster community and build a consistency of practice.
Once released, you will have content download links accessible for up to a year so you can work through them at your own pace.
COMMUNITY CALLS INCLUDE:
HTF combines the tools you need to building a personal practice of feeling your emotions with the magic of community. Attend these optional calls to recieve the added benefits of community, co-regulation and relational context.
Meet & Greet Intro Call
This will be a relaxed opportunity to introduce yourself, meet your classmates and play a game. Come and break the ice with us!
Practice Sessions
During these small group half an hour sessions, I or one of the co-facilitators will lead a live practice of the embodiment tools you’ll be learning week by week.
Integration Calls for BIPOC, Trans & Non-binary and Indigenous Folks
These three small group spaces are an opportunity for students with shared experiences of embodied resilience and oppression to integrate in community. Each of these calls will be facilitated by a team of two comprised of an experienced somatic practitioner, and an HTF alum deepening their own practice. Facilitators include Jennifer Sterling, Nazbah Tom, Tanya Neumeyer, Kai Cheng Thom , Nisha Mody and Amber Brown. Learn more about them below!
Meet integration Call & pRACTICE session Facilitators
Amber Brown (she/her)
*Indigenous Call
Amber Brown , MSW RSW, is an Indigenous (Anishinaabe Kwe) Social Worker currently employed in Indigenous Health Care. She is passionate about supporting indigenous community members reconcile ancestral and interpersonal trauma using a combination of approaches in western and Indigenous methodology, and integrating trauma informed care into the medical model.
Nazbah Tom (they/them)
*Indigenous Call
Nazbah Tom is Diné. They are from their ancestral homelands of Dinétah, in what is now currently Arizona. Their original training is in drama therapy which offered an experiential form of psychotherapy with individuals and groups. As a somatic practitioner they use a combination of conversation, breath work, gestural work, bodywork, and incorporating new somatic skills to support and guide individuals and groups through a process of embodied transformation. Find them at www.nazbahtom.com
Nisha Mody (she/her)
*BIPOC Call
Nisha Mody is a Feminist Healing Coach, Facilitator, and Writer who holds space for those who question the way they "should" live and want to heal for themselves and the collective. She loves to talk about boundaries, nervous system regulation, and how you’re a magical gift to the world! You can find Nisha on Instagram @healinghypegirl and learn more about her at www.nishaland.com.
Jennifer Sterling (she/her)
*BIPOC Call
Jennifer Sterling is an author and registered dance/movement psychotherapist. She is also the founder of Bodyful Healing, a dance/movement psychotherapy practice that supports Black women in moving through and healing from the traumatic effects of racism and oppression. Find her at www.jennifersterling.com or at www.thebodyfulhealingproject.com
Tanya Neumeyer (they/them)
*Trans & Non-Binary Call
Tanya Neumeyer is a queer poet and educator committed to access and equity. They have more than 15 years of experience in workshop facilitation and meditation. Tanya has been with How To Feel since the beginning and supports arts and equity work online as a tech support person. Also of note, Tanya is Varia's loving spouse and cat co-parent. Learn more about Tanya at www.tanyaneumeyer.com
Kai Cheng Thom (she/her)
*Trans & Non-Binary Call
Kai Cheng Thom, MSW, MSc, is an author, performer, somatically trained coach and sex educator, mediator, wicked witch and lasagna lover based in tkaronto/Toronto. As an embodiment coach and consultant, Kai Cheng works with individuals and organizations to resolve conflicts, shift systems, and pursue transformative change. She is the author of five award-winning books and also writes the advice column Ask Kai: Advice For the Apocalypse for Xtra, Canada's queer newspaper. Find her at www.ariseembodiment.org
LIVE CLASS SCHEDULE & SYLLABUS
Jan 4th - March 1st, 2021
free class & intro week: fEELINGS 101
Live Free Class: Tuesday, January 4th, 6:30 - 8pm EST (open to all)
Course Meet and Greet: Friday, January 7th, 7 - 8pm EST (for those registered for the course)
Feelings 101 introduces an embodied trauma-informed framework for understanding and actually feeling your feelings. Learn how to stay with and move through your feelings without moving into avoidance, blame or overwhelm. This class is open to all, whether you plan to register in How to Feel or not. Friday’s Meet & Greet will be the first gathering of those registered for HTF!
WEEK 1: fEAR
Live Class: Tuesday, Jan 11th, 6:30 - 8pm EST
Practice Session 1: Thursday, Jan 13th, 12 - 12:30pm EST lead by Varvara
Learn about fear from a nervous system perspective, and disover how to re-establish an “in this moment” sense of safety. This week’s embodiment practice is resourcing.
wEEK 2: Integration Week
Q& A Live Call: Thursday, Jan 20th, 3 - 4pm EST
BIPOC call: Saturday, Jan 22nd 12 - 1pm EST lead by Jennifer and Nisha
Indigenous Integration Affinity Call: Thursday, January 20, 3:30-4:30 pm EST lead by Amber and Nazbah
Trans and Non-binary Integration Affinity Call: Friday, Jan 21st at 4pm EST lead by Tanya and Kai Cheng
WEEK 3: ANGEr
Live Class: Tuesday, Jan 25th, 6:30 - 8pm EST
Practice Session 2: Thursday, Jan 27th, 12 - 12:30pm EST lead by Varvara
Yes, it’s safe to feel your anger. Learn how to move the hot energy of anger through you in a non-harmful way. This week’s embodiment practice will focus on containment.
WEEK 4: GRIEF
Live Class: Tuesday, February 1st, 6:30 - 8pm EST
Practice Session 3: Thursday, February 3rd, 12 - 12:30pm EST lead by Jennifer
Explore what grief is, how to create support for yourself so you can grieve, and how to move in and out of it so it doesn’t swallow you whole. This week’s embodiment practice will focus on softening.
WEEK 5: Integration
Q& A Live Call: Wednesday, February 9th, 3 - 4pm EST
BIPOC Integration Call: Thursday, Feb 10th , 7 - 8pm EST lead by Nisha and Jennifer
Indigenous Integration Call: Thursday, February 10, 3:30-4:30 pm EST lead by Nazbah and Amber
Trans and Non-binary Integration Call: Friday, Jan 21s, 4 - 5pm EST lead by Kai Cheng and Tanya
WEEK 6: JOY
Live Class: Tuesday, Feb 15th, 6:30 - 8pm EST
Practice Session 4: Thursday, Feb 17th, 12 - 12:30pm EST lead by Varvara
Struggling to access joy or feeling guilty about it when it comes up? “I’m scared to lose it.” Sound familiar? Joy is a very vulnerable thing to feel. Let’s learn to savour it. This week’s embodiment practice will focus on orienting.
WEEK 7: SHAME
Live Class: Tuesday, Feb 22nd, 6:30 - 8pm EST
Practice Session 5: Thursday, Feb 24th, 12 - 12:30pm EST lead by Varvara
Shame is an evolutionary survival mechanism which can wreak havoc in our lives if left unchecked. Learn how to notice and ease feelings of shame. This week’s embodiment practice will focus on pendulation.
week 8: OVERWHELM
Live Class: Tuesday, March 1st, 6:30 - 8pm EST
Closing Reflection & Dance Party: Time TBD lead by Varvara
Everything is happening at once. Learn how to pause in the moment of feeling overwhelmed to find your centre and regain your agency. This week’s embodiment practice will focus on titration.
TUITION AND REGISTRATION
How to Feel tuition is on sliding scale pricing which offers financial accessibility to those who need it and a chance for those with financial stability to share from it. A great big thanks to Alexis J. Cunningfolk for their writing on sliding scale pricing .
Supported Price
$297 USD Upfront
*$55 USD X 6 months
The Supported Price is for you if you struggle to meet basic needs and paying for this class would be significant or stressful. BIPOC, queer & trans, working class, disabled, neurodivergent and immigrant folks to the front please.
Standard Price
$497 USD upfront
$85 USD X 6 months
The Standard Price is the actual cost of the course. It’s for you if you have some financial stability and some expendable income. Paying for this class will likely mean prioritizing this above other non-essential spending choices.
Redistribution Price
$697 USD upfront
$120 USD x 6 months
The Redistribution Price is an invitation for those of you with financial security to contribute to the tuition and lives of your peers with less financial privilege. White, cis, able-bodied, settler, university educated folks to the front please.
Registration closes on Monday, January 10th.
*If the Supported Price 6 month payment plan isn’t feasible for you, please be in touch with me at contact@bewith.org to request a longer payment plan or to get your name on a waitlist for a PWYC (pay what you can) scholarship.
HTF STUDENT FEEDBACK
“ I have spent a lifetime outside of my body. As soon as I started to realize that many of the answers I needed in order to heal from my traumas would require connection to my body, I was looked high and low for a starting point that felt accessible. I signed up for this class as soon as I saw the title “How to Feel” because, well, that’s exactly what I’m trying to learn. I’m so glad that I did. It was the perfect way to learn concrete tools that helped me understand where to start. I rarely feel safe around strangers, particularly people that I’ve never met in person, but Varvara has such an incredible energy - I was instantly at ease. She held the group with such grace, sweetness, and humor. I am so grateful to her for this offering and for the changes I’ve already seen in myself. ”
“Working with Varvara has been a game changer for me and has helped me grow so much. It has allowed me to feel more resourced and grounded and also have a language to share my knowledge with my partner(s) and loved ones. Varvara’s approach is one I’ve been missing in many spaces (intersectional, inclusive, open minded, loving) and it makes me feel extremely happy and lucky for this opportunity. I’m definitely going to repeat with the new classes she offers!”
“This class legit taught me how to feel. I learned more about how to be in my body with my emotions. I learned so much more about how to be with my emotions instead of seeing them as an enemy. This was one of the best investments I have made. Varvara is so delightful. You will have a great time and your perspective on emotions will change in the process. I can’t recommend this enough.”
“This class helped me grow through one of the most challenging experiences of my life. An old childhood wound was ripped open, on top of a pandemic, loss of a family member, systemic oppression of people of color coming to a head and so many other things. I can’t imagine how I could have managed to listen, get curious, and move into spaces of safety without this course. ”
“Varvara’s enthusiasm, authenticity, and mastery shine through when she talks about feelings — the messiness of them, the nuances of them, and how to treat ourselves kindly while feeling them. Her teachings have totally transformed my capacity for self-trust and a felt sense of personal liberation. What a treasure.”
faq
Q: Do I need to be able to make the live classes in order to get the most out of this course?
A: Probably not, but it does depend on how you learn best! About half the students show up to class live and the other half catch the replays on their own time on their own pace. You have up to a year to download all the content so if the time feels right to do the class but you can’t make the live sessions, I recommend registering and working through the material at your own pace.
ABOUT ME & MY TRAINING:
I’m a reluctant expert on feelings.
Having grown up in Moscow during the fall of the USSR, there wasn’t a lot of space for me to feel my feelings as a child. As a highly sensitive young person, I learned to ignore, control and hide how I felt no matter the cost.
Then came a traumatic immigration, fundamentalist christianity, chronic depression and multiple painful attempts at coming out as queer to conservative family and friends. The cost of not feeling, not being in my body and being there for everyone other than myself became too much to bear.
Cue thousands of dollars and over a decade of therapy later, I learned how to discern what I was actually feeling, developed the skills and capacity to stay with myself and get through to the other side of any emotion. This new capacity set me free and awoke me to the beauty of life, the wisdom of my feelings, and the gift of being embodied. It also helped me to see myself in the context of a complex world shaped by systems that created much of my suffering, including ableism, racism, patriarchy, classism, colonialism and more.
I’ve spent the last thirteen years offering embodied emotional support through one on one and group coaching, teaching, spiritual care, facilitation, storytelling and community building. My work is shaped by a cross-disciplinary approach to healing that combines my background in somatic trauma resolution, Gestalt psychotherapy, co-active coaching, creative arts and spiritual care. My approach is politicized, non-hierarchical, and process (rather than outcome) oriented. Queerness, immigration, class struggle, and lived experience of trauma orient my work towards justice for all and a practice of accessibility as love. My magic is in being with people. So is my joy.
My formal training includes:
Alchemical Alignment: Bodywork for Trauma Resolution and Embodiment of Spirit
Levels 1-4 , 2021 (100 hours)
Brigit Viksnins MAT, SEP, RCST®, BCTMB, LMTCoaches Training Institute
Co-Active Coaching Fundamentals, 2015 (17.75 hours)
ICF Accredited Coach TrainingCertificate in Gestalt Psychotherapy Theory and Methodology
One-Year Traning Program for Professionals, 2012 (170 hours)
Year Two - Introduction to Field Dynamics , 2013(170 hours)
Gestalt Institute of TorontoFoundations in the Psychology of Counselling
As part of a Master’s of Divinity, 2013 (45 hours)
Dr. Marsha Hewitt, Trinity College, University of TorontoStudies towards a Master’s of Divinity
with a focus on Queer Theology, 2011 - 2013
Queen’s University, University of TorontoBachelor of Arts with Honours in Philosophy
York University, 2005 - 2009
Toronto, Ontario
Lineages of Practice:
My deepest gratitude is extended to my own lineage of practice, built first and foremost on the foundation of my own well-being. This foundation was and is made possible by the long-term support and encouragement of my community, as well as the pivotal guides in my own life - Katarina Maatta-Hebdon and Marika Heinrichs. I extend my deepest thanks to my teachers in healing, Brigit Viksnins and the faculty of The Gestalt Institute of Toronto, as well as Tele Darden and Steph Jagger who offer me private practice supervision and mentorship, respectively. My approach is shaped by the public teaching work of adrienne maree brown, Lindsay Mack, Brené Brown, Janina Fisher, Kathy Kain, Rachael Maddox and Rob Bell. My deepest bow goes to each of them, as well as to the ancient traditions that shape the lineages my work flows from, including the teachings of the Buddha, Indigenous teachings, Christian mystics, and earth based worship, ritual and magic.
At this point, I feel my life’s calling is to support myself and others to live in right relationship with self, others & the more than human world.
I am a cis white queer femme, a Russian immigrant, a cat mom and a wife to Tanya Neumeyer. I live in what is colonially known as Toronto in Canada, but has always been and will be Indigenous land. As both a settler and an immigrant in my lifetime, I hold the privilege, complexity and harm by which I get to call this place home seriously. The land I live on is part of the Dish with One Spoon Territory - a treaty between the Anishinaabe, Mississaugas and Haudenosaunee that bound them to share the territory and protect the land. Subsequent Indigenous Nations and peoples, Europeans and all newcomers have been invited into this treaty in the spirit of peace, friendship and respect. I look to this treaty as a guiding principle for how to live on the land, working towards decolonization through solidarity, education and when called for direct action.
““Varvara’s How To Feel class is a game changer! It was more helpful than any book, therapy or course I have taken over the years, combined! I highly recommend this course if you want to understand your feelings more, be able to learn how to process them and become more grounded and feel better in your life.” ”
“Varvara is a compassionate, thoughtful, and knowledgeable guide through the difficult terrain of human feelings. She is very skilled at both conveying theory and facilitating embodied practice, in a way that is accessible and tangibly useful in day-to-day life. This course has helped me to become way more attuned to my feelings, and more equipped to feel them all the way through rather than repress or project. The skills I’ve learned here will support me in strengthening my relationships with myself, my partner, my friends and family, and my broader community.”
“I feel like every human alive needs to take this class. The world would be so much better for it. When we heal ourselves, we heal the world. Varvara provides us with so many tools to heal ourselves.”
““Varvara is so gentle and kind. I’ve learned about somatics before from another teacher, but Varvara teaches it in a more digestible way that I was able to use immediately after practicing once with her recorded audios. The practices have built my capacity to stay in my body during difficult moments. I also really appreciate her social justice and equity lens that she brings into her classes; her commitment and continued growth here are clear.””
““How to Feel was a safe, compassionate, and trauma informed journey of self discovery lead by Varvara, a remarkable facilitator, who guided me and the other group members through the journey with kindness and respect for each of our bodies’ inherent wisdom. How to Feel allowed me to understand my nervous system without judgement, while making space for new skills to support increased regulation in a way that works with, instead of against, my body.””
WHO THIS CLASS IS FOR:
You consider yourself highly sensitive and/or are surrounded by sensitive folks, and want to support yourself and others better.
You’re seeing how your feelings (or lack thereof) are negatively affecting your relationships, health, or intentions and you want to make positive change in this arena.
You’ve done enough personal development, therapy, or coaching to begin to see that growth is a practice, not a destination.
You’re existentially exhausted from the crises we are living through and want to develop more internal stability to ride the waves of emotion that come with being alive right now.
You sense that it’s time to go inwards to look for your answers, experientially not just intellectually.
You’ve started learning about trauma (personal and/or systemic) and feel curious to explore what that might mean for you.
feeling success STORIES:
STILL UNSURE? try these resources for free:
VIRTUAL CLASS
AUDIO PRACTICE
Integration Q&A
“I came across the How The Feel practices on Instagram when I was bogged down and overwhelmed by all the different teachings, sayings, and quotations and feeling a little lost in it all. Fortunately, at that time, the only message I was receiving from myself and knew to be true was that I couldn’t run away from my feelings. I had known this for a while now but I just did not know where or how to begin listening to myself. All the different theories and teachings aimed towards productivity or ways to reach your maximum potential and it only felt agitating. Barbara’s classes are so gentle and her practices guided me in many, many, different ways to first understand the patterns that were ingrained within me or taught to me. This really resonated with me and coupled with the practice sessions, I am now able to feel a little safer in my own body. I have been struggling with anxiety for a long time now and have nervous jitters running through my body almost all the time, and I woke up today not feeling as jittery. There is a lot I still have left to learn about myself but I when I am experiencing something, I don’t feel lost or more overwhelmed. I know I owe this to Barbara and her gentle reminders only to witness myself with a soft, tender gaze.”
“This class was incredibly powerful and I honestly think every single human being could benefit from taking it. I feel a much greater understanding of my emotions and have concrete strategies to experience them in healthier ways.”
“I feel way more in touch with myself and more prepared to experience emotional situations in a way that is healthy and not self-destructive.”
“The live classes gave me a sense of accountability and the audio is something I will return to again and again – I am downloading them onto every device I own! ”